Im like a rubix cube, hard to figure out.
Opinionated yet open minded. Stubborn and hard headed, trust me i wont back down.I don't make promises UNLESS i know i can keep them.I respect people who are different and dont just follow the pack. I'm not perfect - we live in a world where things are not always black and white! this year has been one of the most challenging mentally and physically and i've lost alot more than i ever antisipated. I've learnt that no matter how many times you fuck up there is always more to learn from your mistakes, and if you want something bad enough you've got to step out of your comfort zone and go for it! My friends look to me for planning events ect. i like to make the plans because that way i know i can work on them so they suit my mood. I practically live at my local pub, if you can't find me at home i'm likely to be found there ;) I believe that everything happens for a reason, good things fall apart so that better things can come together. AND I'm a strong believer in Karma



Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Wednesday: A pointless day..

I've been in bed all day.
Soo its been a pretty pointless day. I slept for most of it, Caught up with The Inbetweeners, Mum made dinner and brought it into me, then sat with me while i ate it. It was pasta with cheese, Nothing too enjoyable really.
I was supposed to go and see bobby today but I text him and told him im not getting out of bed so i'll see him tomorrow, he said he has got me a present to appologise for us having to walk home in the rain lmao. Its not his fault it rained bless him.
Soo today things haven't been to great with food and i ended up writing my mum a letter, it seems that writing is the only way i could explain things to her properly.  And it must have gotten through to her as she cried whilst she was reading it, that made me feel kinda guilty. I feel as if im trying so hard but just not getting anywhere.
I've been trying to be productive and take my mind away from the negativity so have been applying for jobs, I applied for 4 different jobs at the bridgewood mannor hotel, i've got to hear something soon, primark wont take me on full time, not that im complaining cause i hate it there anyways, but i need something to do on the weekdays. And it seems theres no luck with the applications i've handed in up the hospital.
I've got a friend in need on her way over with a bottle of wine, so i guess i should get out of bed and make myself look presentable.
Mwahh <3 x x
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3 comments:

  1. Anonymous6 October 2010 at 13:22

    hi pet.hmm...i dunno what to say to u girly.im happy bobby seems to respect u at least and that you wrote to ur mum-that's great and dont DARE feel guilty-you have plenty of other feelings to be dealt with and u have nothing to be guilty for.i really think u should consider being overlooked by a professional,its better sooner than later.trust me please,i DO know this time..its gonna happen either way and it'd save u alot of pain and torment if u did it asap-before any job xxxxx Yve

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  2. fergie9 October 2010 at 03:21

    pointless dont talk!how was that a pointless day the inbetweeners new ep was epic:) even though your mum may have been upset there obviously was a point to your letter!your activley looking for jobs!im in the same boat as you at the mo with spare time etc your no the only one:( unfortunatley we just got to make the most of what we have!and you do have a lot!

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  3. Rebecca9 October 2010 at 08:20

    I appreciate everything i have, but with work its just not enough. The pay im on at primark is rediculous and i have to take money out of that to pay rent too.
    Soo i have £100 to last me a month :/
    The mum things all good. I think it made her understand more.
    Im thinking of going back to college :) x x

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