Random Couple of days..

Not Much has really gone on the past couple of days..
I forgot to mention in the last post how my visit to the doctors went.. i was contemplating just getting up and leaving (again) i done that the last time, but i stayed. I was thinking stupid things like "im not thin enough what if he doesnt believe me" Eating Disorders are NOT about weight. The thoughts going through my mind were unreal. Anyways after about 10minutes of stressing out my name was called and off i went to see Dr. Ali. I explained what was going on (with great difficulty) he then weighed me and checked my BMI. He also asked me questions about my relationship with food and how i feel about eating, ect. He told me the different routes i could take for recovery such as councelling, I have also got an appointment with a dietician which im dreading!! i'm yet to arrange to see a therapist, but i will get around to it eventually.
And I have an appointment with my doctor again in a few weeks.

I've had my hair done.. My good friend sian is so talented when it comes to hair. She has no hairdressing qualifications, but she dyed washed cut and blow dried my hair, and i must say it looks really nice.

Last night bobby's parents invited me to a meal with them at our local, of course, i was dreading it, completely freaking out, because of the fact that i wouldn't be choosing my portion sizes and there was no possible way for me to watch them prepare the meal. However i overcame this and prepared myself for a night with Bobby and his family. Things were going okay untill his dad asked me if i was enjoying my Jacket potato with cheese and sweetcorn (something i havent eaten in a long time) I replied yes and then pushed the plate away. I couldn't finish it, i got half way through and started to feel guilty.

I have a bet on with a few friends who seem to think i couldnt last a day, let alone a whole month without Alcohol in my system, they also said i wouldn't last without crisps (one of the only foods i can eat without guilt). Soo im on day 3 of proving them wrong. A whole month, i can do this easy!!
Whats in it for me: A trip to London Dungeons all expenses payed for.
If i fail: Just the fact of never living it down that im dependent on the stuff.
Soo this is a challenge im willing to face and get through!! AND I WILL :)

Yesterday was a good day except for the meal with Bobby and his parents. Went christmas shopping, I got the girly presents done. Dolls, and make up and perfume and Jewellery and Lots of pink stuff. I loved itt !!
Now for the boys. Im clueless!

Anyways, off too see where my friends just started her new job.
Mwahh <3 x x x